To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
