I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
