Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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