But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
