I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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