i was born a porn star she said
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
