I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
