just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
