The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
