I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
