I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
