Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
