ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
