question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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