Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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