her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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