I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's shark week go big or go home
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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