We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
