i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Come see our sink grown plant.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
