so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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