Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
