Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i came on her dog
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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