now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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