Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
