How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
