garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
