If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
