New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
