If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
