as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
