This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
