nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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