Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
