dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
