Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
