She's JV to your varsity
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
