guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
