how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
