Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
