The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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