Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
