I want to have your abortion
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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