I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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