he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
