im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
