Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
