Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
