I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
