is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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