even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
