how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
