Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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