she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he shaved USA in his pubs
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My life is pants optional.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
