you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
