dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dicks are not precious.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
