dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize