I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
