He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
