just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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