I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
