epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize